In the last few days’ posts, I’ve shared more personally about why I am speaking out post-election. But I’ve been holding back on one story. A story that is so close to my heart. And now it is time to tell you.
I’m really just sad and disappointed for the type of America that my daughter is growing up in.
Eddie and I got married the year Obama first got elected.
We had Jocelyn shortly after his second inauguration.
Our mixed daughter has only ever known President Barack Obama.
And I thought Hillary Clinton would win.
I was so excited to later introduce Jocelyn to President Hillary Clinton.
My female mixed race child was only going to know a contemporary America with a mixed race president followed by a female president.
And the idea of this simply makes my heart leap!
And then the week before the election, she came home from school talking about Donald Trump.
My 3 ½ year old daughter had heard something at school.
And now she knew his name.
And that just made me sick.
I can’t help it.
I have a motherly instinct to want to protect my own child.
And I have a desire to maintain her innocence.
The conversation that followed was interesting to say the least.
She couldn’t remember who had told her about Donald Trump.
But thankfully she did know that Donald Trump wasn’t nice to people.
“And that’s not very nice.”
I asked Jocelyn if she knew about Hillary Clinton.
She did not.
I told her that Daddy and Mommy were both going to vote for Hillary Clinton because she was nice to people.
*Important to note: This wasn’t me trying to “dumb down” politics or policies for my child. This was just a simple way of describing Donald’s hate and Hillary’s inclusivity.
On Election Day, we brought Jocelyn to the polls with us.
And our 3 ½ year old knew that we were voting for Hillary Clinton because she was nice, and Donald Trump wasn’t very nice.
Eddie and I went to sleep before the election results even started coming in that night.
Eddie went to sleep – having a gut feeling that Trump would win.
I went to sleep absolutely clueless – expecting to wake up with happy news of Hillary.
So when I woke up the next morning, I was surprised to read the news of Trump’s election.
And I told Eddie: “I don’t want to tell Jocelyn. Not yet.”
And so we haven’t yet told Jocelyn that somehow the guy that is not very nice to people is going to be the new president.
I can’t stomach it yet.
I feel a responsibility as a mother to protect her from the worst in the world.
But I also feel a responsibility to make the world a better place for her.
And to train her up to make the world a better place for other people.
I feel like I failed her. I didn’t make the world a better place for her.
Trump’s presidency is not a better place for my female mixed-race child.
Trump’s president is not good for Jocelyn.